Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Mush Versus Adam

Mush versus Adam, round two.

My Mummy attempted to give me a toast soldier for my midmorning snack today.  She thought putting butter on it would make it more appealing.  She thought I could practice picking up my toast soldier and putting it into my mouth to learn to feed myself.  She thought a toast soldier would be nice.

I looked at the soldier.

The soldier looked at me.

I ignored it.

That. was the end. of that.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Mid-Mush Sneeze

I've realised Mummy is a rather tricky sort and I need to keep quite a close eye on her.  She's absolutely determined to change my diet from nice tasty milk to various shades of mush.  Needless to say, I'm resisting this plan rather strenuously.  I mean she's been feeding me so much orange mush that my poo is orange - this just will never do!!!

Don't get me wrong, at first I quite enjoyed mush.  It was all rather a novelty and it was fun to have a spoonful stuffed into my mouth and see just how quickly I could spit it out and what parts of Mummy I could coat with said mush.  My favourite is mid-mush sneeze - that one is fun and it always makes Mummy squeal.  Then there's the mid-mush ooze; you know the one, where a spoonful of mush is stuffed into my mouth and then as I pretend to close my mouth, in fact I'm just slowly allowing the mush to leak out of my grinning lips and down my chin.  Mummy tries to scoop it up with the spoon to stuff it in again, sometimes this works but more often it just makes me squeal.  I mean honestly, if I've decided I don't want it the first time, I definitely don't want it the second time mixed with drool.  This of course makes Mummy feel very guilty; she never can resist the sight of my tears and helpless wails so it ensures I have at least a gulp of milk to soothe me before the mush returns.

At first the mush was just bananas (an acquired taste but nice in it's own way) then we progressed to cooked apples and pears and I was very partial to those.  However, the problem is that Mummy insists on making me eat vegetables.  After a few spits, I consented to eat sweet potato and carrots, those weren't too bad but I really must draw the line at chicken mush, mince mush, cauliflower mush and most definitely parsnip mush!  I mean seriously, parsnip mush?  Doesn't the thought just make you cringe???  

I wailed.  I spit.  I oozed.  I blew raspberries for maximum mush coating and then I simply sealed my lips and waited her out, shaking my head determinedly each time the spoon approached my lips.  Finally, Mummy worked out that I was quite partial to apple and pear mush and even more partial to varieties of yogurt (it is after all quite similar to my milk and has a lovely fruity taste) the problem is that just as I was relaxing and enjoying my fruit/yogurt mush meals, Mummy decided I really did need some variety in my life.  

She's not entirely without sense so she decided to alternate spoonfuls; I couldn't believe it the first time I was settling in to my lovely pear mush and suddenly a mouthful of sweet potato/parsnip/mince mush was shoved into my mouth!  The indignity and utter shock of the moment!  I was so overcome that I found myself swallowing before I'd even realised what was happening!  But just as quickly as Mummy returned to a spoonful of nice mush, I began to plot.  The next time a spoonful approached my mouth, I kept my lips tightly sealed and just sniffed at it.  When I determined that it was just a pear spoonful, I agreed to open my lips but even as Mummy began to laugh, she filled the next spoonful with yucky mush.  I'm not daft and I could see what she was doing so this time, I kept my lips tightly sealed and just stuck my tongue out to carefully lick the end of the spoon.  When I identified parsnip, I quickly withdrew my tongue, clamped my jaws, shook my head and squealed.  Mummy tried to tempt me with milk but I flatly refused to trust her again until I smelled some nice mush on the spoon.  

The problem is that Mummy has no objection to being utterly horrible and when I'm opening my mouth to chatter and laugh at her, she shoves in some horrible mush - and worse still, she's smiling and singing to me all the while!  As if this mush is just as nice as the other mush!!!  Of course I started to cough, splutter and choke, very theatrically heaving as though I was going to be sick and just as Mummy was starting to panic and rub my back (ahh that feels nice) I smiled very cheekily indeed at her.  The problem is that at that point, I had blown my cover and Mummy realised I was just being naughty.

This week, it's even worse because my teeth really are hurting me and just when I want Mummy to be very nice indeed and let me live on pears, apples, yogurt and milk, she's refusing my very polite request!  I'm not sleeping very well because my teeth hurt so much and even though she's given me my first ever spoonful of something called Calpol (it tasted like strawberries but it made me stop crying at least) she's still being horrible and making me eat mush.  At least she's finally allowed me to stop having the parsnip and cauliflower but still insists on the sweet potato and carrot - just because I liked it two weeks ago does NOT mean I like it now Mummy!

All of that to say, I've realised I really do need to keep a very close eye on Mummy as she is clearly such a tricky sort.  I've been having some very close conversations with Daddy about this but unfortunately, he just tells me that he hasn't managed to stop Mummy making him do things he really doesn't want to do, so he wishes me luck with it.  ::sigh::  Whatever is a baby to do?