Saturday, 31 December 2011

Breaking-In The Staff

Well, I've come up with a new idea.  I heard some of my friends in nursery talking about it and it sounded faaaabooolous!  Apparently, the way it works is that their Mummy's and Daddy's put them into a bed on their own and instead of sleeping, they shout rather a lot until eventually, they're moved into a super-fantastic-extra-big-bed with Mummy and Daddy.  Now this sounds like a fantastic plan so I thought I'd look into it.  A couple of weeks ago, Mummy left her laptop within reach so I did some research and I discovered this is called 'co-sleeping' and babies who do it are happier and more secure - excellent!  Whatever it's called, I had to put this particular plan into action but I knew I had to get my timing just right if it was going to work.  I began to plot.

First of all, I started to wake up just a little bit more often at night.  I needed to break Mummy and Daddy in and get them nice and tired from replying to my shouts for Dumbles.  At first, I went back to sleep fairly quickly but then I started to stay awake for longer and longer.  Eventually, all they had to do was lift their head from their pillow and I was up and propped on my arms waiting for service.  Usually I planned it so that Mummy and Daddy had just gone to sleep around an hour previously and were just falling nicely asleep...then I shouted.  So Daddy sleepily got up, reinserted Dumbles, I rolled over with a happy chewing suck and started to snore.  They crept back into bed, closed their eyes and.......

I have LOST my DUMBLES!  This cannot BE!  

So this time, Mummy sleepily stumbled over to my cot, reinserted Dumbles and I rolled over with a happy chewing suck and started to snore...but I kept one eye open and watched Mummy just waiting for her head to hit the pillow and her eyes to close.....

MUMMY!!!!  I have LOST my DUMBLES!!!!!

This "breaking in" phase went on for a few nights until eventually, Mummy got the idea.  She pulled me out of my cot and nestled me in her bed, making a nice space between her pillow and Daddy's.  I snuggled down, wriggled a bit and...oh yes, this is nice Mummy....snnnooooooorrreeeee...... The first night was so peaceful and I slept for such a long time that Mummy thought it might not be quite such a bad idea to have me in her bed.  I did after all let her sleep in until 5:45am - a positive lie in!

However, little did she know that this was only the beginning of my plan.  The next night, after I'd shouted quite a lot, Mummy dragged me into her bed again.  Aaaahhhhh niiiiiiiicce.  I wriggled.  I snuggled.  I whacked Daddy for a while.  I blinked sleepily at Mummy.  I rolled over and I snored.  Once again, I let the staff have a nice lie in.  But the next night, it was time. 

Step 1: Shout
Step 2: Dumbles
Step 3: Mummy bed (right on target!)
Step 4: Snuggle
Step 5: Whack Daddy.
Step 6: Blink sleepily.....
Step 7: Whack Daddy.
Step 8: Smile innocently at Mummy.
Step 9: Whack Daddy.

Are we noticing a theme here?  You see, I had decided that Daddy was in my way.  It was of course lovely snuggling next to Mummy but now that I'M here, there's just no need for Daddy.  The bed isn't big enough for three Daddy!  So I started off by rolling over next to Daddy and snuggling beside him.  Then slowly I began to push.  I flattened my little back against his big back, I locked my legs and HEAVED.  He grunted, snorted a little, moved over an inch or two and I relaxed while sucking Dumbles.  I locked my little nappied bum against Daddy and HEAVE.  He grunted and gave me another couple of inches.  Mmmmmm snuggle, squirm snore.  HEAVE!  But then betrayal!  Mummy sleepily dragged me back against her - spoilsport!  I'd lost all my momentum!  But in fairness, she's really very soft and cuddly so I snuggled for a while.   But all was not lost.  I rolled over again, locked backs with Daddy and HEAVED.  Daddy grunted and rolled further to the edge of the bed to give me some space.  I stretched a little, wiggled, spread out comfortably and sucked Dumbles.  Daddy clung to the edge of the bed and tried to stay on.  I'm sure he was having a nice, restful night...HEAVE!

The next night, much the same except that this time, I decided to take a lesson from the cats. You see, I'd watched them very carefully and seen that despite their comparatively small size, when they lie diagonally, they manage to take up at least half a king sized bed.  This looked like a good idea so repeat steps 1 to 9 and suddenly there I was with Daddy clinging to one side of the bed and Mummy clinging to the other while I lay diagonally between them, cuddling teddy and busily sucking Dumbles.  Just for added sarcasm, I propped my feet up on Daddy's shoulder and flung my arm across Mummy while I snored.  Then I grabbed a handful of Daddy's pillow and started to tug on it.  Tug.  Tugtugtug.  Daddy, are you sleeping?  Tugtugtug.  Daddy, can I have your pillow please?  Tugtugtug.  Daddy grunted and pulled the pillow away from me, giving Teddy back to me.  Tugtugtug.  No Daddy, I want your pillow.  Tugtugtug.  Tug.  HEAVE.

Daddy grunted, rolled over and gently repositioned me in my little space between their pillows.  I snuggled for a while then slowly started to inch HEAVE.  Daddy sighed loudly, said some words I'm sure I'm not supposed to hear and pushed me back towards Mummy who wrapped me in her arms and cuddled me closely.  Wiggle.  Inch.  Squirm.  Tugtugtug.  Daddy, you don't really need your pillow do you?  Come to think of it Daddy, do you actually need to be here at all?  Are you sure the couch wouldn't be more comfortable for you?  Really, I'm quite sure it would.  Wiggle.  Squirm.  HEAVE.  Tugtugtug.  Isn't cosleeping wonderful Daddy?  So restful.  Tugtugtug.  

Finally, Daddy gave up.  I knew he would.  He stomped off.  Daddy?  If it's any help, you're welcome to use my bed, I'm finished with it for the night.  It even has bars on it so you won't fall off the edge like you do on this one.  Help yourself Daddy!  Daddy, why are you ignoring me?  Was it something I said?  

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Is God Good?

I'm in a thoughtful mood at the moment.  I've just been hanging out in the common room chatting to Ben and he started off by asking about the results of Adam's latest hearing test and then ultimately about what happened after Adam was born, first with his health and then with my (thankfully temporary) inability to walk.  (And I was very conscious of Haydon sitting beside me in his wheelchair which rather put my experience into perspective!)  

After he'd heard the story, and as most people are, had been pretty shocked by our experiences, he looked at me and said, "Mate, do you believe God is good?"  It wasn't any kind of flippant question but an entirely genuine one, and as Haydon said, they'd been in Ethics class today and had spent some time discussing disability and faith so it was entirely relevant.

The question really struck me, hit a chord I suppose you could say.  I replied that yes, I do believe God is good.  Despite everything we went through and all of the dark times when I cried and asked 'why is this happening?' I still believe God is good.  As I said to Ben, I could focus on the fact that Adam got sick and all of the bones in my pelvis separated leaving me in agony and unable to walk.  I could focus on the fact that Adam very nearly died.  I could focus on the uncertainty of how disabled Adam might have been after his illness.  I could focus on the continuing uncertainty over not just what Adam can hear but what sense he is able to make of what he hears.  

Or I could focus on the fact that Adam did survive.  He wasn't supposed to, the doctors didn't believe he would, but he did anyway.  I could focus on the extraordinary medical care he received, given by committed doctors and nurses who, even when they were sure he would die, kept doing their best to save him anyway; even when it meant one of his doctors standing over his incubator through the night pumping more and more medication into him to try to stop the constant seizures.  I could...and I thank God for giving my son back to me.  So yes, I believe God is good.  That doesn't change the fact that bad things happen, and bad things *did* happen.  But God is good.  

Monday, 5 December 2011

One's Dumbles Has Died :'-(

One is in mourning.

One's Dumbles has died.

Mummy took Dumbles off me saying it sounded like a squeaky old shoe.  Well.  Of course I shouted.  In fact, I shouted quite a lot.  I don't CARE if Dumbles had died.  I don't CARE if Dumbles isn't safe.  I don't CARE if Mummy thinks I'm finished with Dumbles.  I'LL let you know when I've finished with Dumbles thank you very much.  

DUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLEEEEESSSSSSS..........Come baaaaacccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(some time later)

*sob*  Mummy says all good Dumbles go to heaven when they die but I'm not sure I believe her.  This is mostly because I'm sure I saw Dumbles go into the bin and while heaven may be somewhere else, I'm quite confident it isn't in the bin.  Besides, how does one work out the comparative goodness of one's Dumbles as to whether or not it deserves to go to heaven?  Is it rated on a scale of all time suckiness?  Ease and efficiency of use?  Overall customer satisfaction?

For that matter, how does one go about choosing a new Dumbles?  Because, despite my best efforts, Mummy flatly refused to give in and give Dumbles back to me.  So she leaves me with no option, I must choose another.  For as my loyal readers will know, life without Dumbles is no life at all.

Daddy had mercy on me and took me shopping to find a new Dumbles and the choice was overwhelming.  I could have had plain blue Dumbles, pink Dumbles, white Dumbles, green Dumbles, patterned Dumbles or character Dumbles.  Then there are Dumbles with brown sucky bits, beige sucky bits and white sucky bits, flat Dumbles and bumpy Dumbles.  The choice is truly amazing.  

Does my face look too green in this?
Personally, I think there should be a trying on room for new Dumbles, after all one simply has to have the right 'look', the wrong Dumbles can change an entire face don't you think?  Not to mention adding ten pounds if one is photographed from the wrong angle.  Ladies have trying on rooms for new clothes and those aren't nearly as important as Dumbles so why this oversight?  Dumbles are just so important!  I must write a letter of complaint to those who make Dumbles.

The problem was that I particularly wanted to open all of the packages and stuff each Dumbles into my mouth in turn to see which one was suckiest, but Daddy was a spoilsport and he wouldn't let me.  He was muttering something about health and hygiene but I think he was just being horrible.  This is a fundamental question:  How can one be sure one chooses the right Dumbles if one cannot suck it???

Eventually, after much deliberation, I chose a red ladybird Dumbles and a green froggy Dumbles.  At first I worried the ladybird looked too girlie but Daddy pointed out that it was red, not pink, and that there's no guarantee all ladybirds are ladies, so that was ok.

I'm sure my readers will be delighted to learn that new Dumbles are quite satisfactorily sucky.  I still miss old Dumbles though, it's just not that easy to break in a Dumbles, it takes a lot of hard work!  Sigh....If you need me, I'll be over here sucking away.