Monday, 5 December 2011

One's Dumbles Has Died :'-(

One is in mourning.

One's Dumbles has died.

Mummy took Dumbles off me saying it sounded like a squeaky old shoe.  Well.  Of course I shouted.  In fact, I shouted quite a lot.  I don't CARE if Dumbles had died.  I don't CARE if Dumbles isn't safe.  I don't CARE if Mummy thinks I'm finished with Dumbles.  I'LL let you know when I've finished with Dumbles thank you very much.  

DUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLEEEEESSSSSSS..........Come baaaaacccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(some time later)

*sob*  Mummy says all good Dumbles go to heaven when they die but I'm not sure I believe her.  This is mostly because I'm sure I saw Dumbles go into the bin and while heaven may be somewhere else, I'm quite confident it isn't in the bin.  Besides, how does one work out the comparative goodness of one's Dumbles as to whether or not it deserves to go to heaven?  Is it rated on a scale of all time suckiness?  Ease and efficiency of use?  Overall customer satisfaction?

For that matter, how does one go about choosing a new Dumbles?  Because, despite my best efforts, Mummy flatly refused to give in and give Dumbles back to me.  So she leaves me with no option, I must choose another.  For as my loyal readers will know, life without Dumbles is no life at all.

Daddy had mercy on me and took me shopping to find a new Dumbles and the choice was overwhelming.  I could have had plain blue Dumbles, pink Dumbles, white Dumbles, green Dumbles, patterned Dumbles or character Dumbles.  Then there are Dumbles with brown sucky bits, beige sucky bits and white sucky bits, flat Dumbles and bumpy Dumbles.  The choice is truly amazing.  

Does my face look too green in this?
Personally, I think there should be a trying on room for new Dumbles, after all one simply has to have the right 'look', the wrong Dumbles can change an entire face don't you think?  Not to mention adding ten pounds if one is photographed from the wrong angle.  Ladies have trying on rooms for new clothes and those aren't nearly as important as Dumbles so why this oversight?  Dumbles are just so important!  I must write a letter of complaint to those who make Dumbles.

The problem was that I particularly wanted to open all of the packages and stuff each Dumbles into my mouth in turn to see which one was suckiest, but Daddy was a spoilsport and he wouldn't let me.  He was muttering something about health and hygiene but I think he was just being horrible.  This is a fundamental question:  How can one be sure one chooses the right Dumbles if one cannot suck it???

Eventually, after much deliberation, I chose a red ladybird Dumbles and a green froggy Dumbles.  At first I worried the ladybird looked too girlie but Daddy pointed out that it was red, not pink, and that there's no guarantee all ladybirds are ladies, so that was ok.

I'm sure my readers will be delighted to learn that new Dumbles are quite satisfactorily sucky.  I still miss old Dumbles though, it's just not that easy to break in a Dumbles, it takes a lot of hard work!  Sigh....If you need me, I'll be over here sucking away.

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