I'm in a thoughtful mood at the moment. I've just been hanging out in the common room chatting to Ben and he started off by asking about the results of Adam's latest hearing test and then ultimately about what happened after Adam was born, first with his health and then with my (thankfully temporary) inability to walk. (And I was very conscious of Haydon sitting beside me in his wheelchair which rather put my experience into perspective!)
After he'd heard the story, and as most people are, had been pretty shocked by our experiences, he looked at me and said, "Mate, do you believe God is good?" It wasn't any kind of flippant question but an entirely genuine one, and as Haydon said, they'd been in Ethics class today and had spent some time discussing disability and faith so it was entirely relevant.
The question really struck me, hit a chord I suppose you could say. I replied that yes, I do believe God is good. Despite everything we went through and all of the dark times when I cried and asked 'why is this happening?' I still believe God is good. As I said to Ben, I could focus on the fact that Adam got sick and all of the bones in my pelvis separated leaving me in agony and unable to walk. I could focus on the fact that Adam very nearly died. I could focus on the uncertainty of how disabled Adam might have been after his illness. I could focus on the continuing uncertainty over not just what Adam can hear but what sense he is able to make of what he hears.
Or I could focus on the fact that Adam did survive. He wasn't supposed to, the doctors didn't believe he would, but he did anyway. I could focus on the extraordinary medical care he received, given by committed doctors and nurses who, even when they were sure he would die, kept doing their best to save him anyway; even when it meant one of his doctors standing over his incubator through the night pumping more and more medication into him to try to stop the constant seizures. I could...and I choose...to thank God for giving my son back to me. So yes, I believe God is good. That doesn't change the fact that bad things happen, and bad things *did* happen. But God is good.