Mummy said she was taking me somewhere new today and she wouldn't tell me where it was but she was sure I would like it. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about because the next thing I knew, we were at Asda and I've been there loads of times before. I was a little bit bored so I was whining to myself and throwing my toys on the floor but Mummy was determinedly cheerful and pulling all sorts of strange things off the shelf. First there was something that looked like new nappies, then a small blue box with some yellow squishy rubbery things in it, then finally some very orange Tigger striped shorts. It was all very mysterious and I was getting frustrated because I wanted to knoooow where this neeeeew place was.
But instead of going to the new place, we just went home and Mummy tried to give me my lunch. Well. If there's one thing I really don't like, it's a mystery and I wasn't about to eat my lunch until Mummy. told. me. what. was. going. on. The problem is that Mummy has my stubbornness and even though I was quite determined to work out the mystery, Mummy was even more determined not to tell me. She was smiling though and her eyes were all excited so I knew it had to be good. Eventually I ate my lunch. And eventually Mummy decided I had digested enough. And eventually Mummy was putting my shoes and coat on. And eventually we were going in the car. Was I at last going to find out what the mystery was?
After just a few minutes, we pulled up outside a new place. It was a white building surrounded by very green fields. Mummy took me out of the car, put me in my sling and we went inside. But OH inside it SMELLED horrible! The smell stung my nose and I shook my head and rubbed my nose to try and make it go away! I still had no idea where we were, but Mummy spoke to a nice looking lady, gave her some money and then we went into somewhere called a Ch-ang-ing R-oo-m. Mummy started to take all of my clothes off which was very strange indeed and then she put the funny nappy onto me and even as I wriggled and snapped the elastic on it, she pulled the orange striped shorts over my nappy. Then she pulled these odd looking rubbery things onto my arms and leaned in close to blow on them. I was amazed when they went all poufy and clung to my arms like big donuts. I had no idea what they were for and I tried to bite them. I snapped and I clacked my teeth but Mummy kept pulling me off them.
Then the strangest thing of all happened - Mummy started to take HER clothes off!! Well. I was *scandalized* - as I'm sure you can appreciate! Mummies don't take off their clothes in public! What on earth was she doing?! Fortunately, she put something else on although it looked very odd and I'd never seen her wear it before. It was black and purple and all stretchy and it left both her arms and her legs bare - it was very weird indeed. I had to get up close to examine it and of course I tried to bite it so I could work out what it was but Mummy took my teeth out of her clothes (spoilsport). She was saying something about me putting holes in it but I couldn't really see why that would be a problem considering it already seemed to have a few holes in it anyway - I mean where were the trousers? Or the sleeves? Surely just one more hole wouldn't matter....no? Oh ok Mummy, if you say so.
Anyway, once Mummy had this strange costume on, we went into another room and she stuck us both under a shower of warm water. Well now, that was very strange indeed and while I have no objection to water, I really couldn't work out what was going on. The funny thing is that there were other people all standing in a queue waiting and they all had similar funny stretchy clothes on like Mummy did. I lay in Mummy's arms and chewed on her shoulder while we waited and occasionally flashed one of my charming smiles at the other people who were waiting to go in....somewhere. This mystery was getting bigger by the minute.
It seemed to take forever but just as I was starting to lose my patience and considering having a bit of a shout, we started to move forward. We walked through a set of double doors and then I caught a glimpse of something so utterly amazing that my mouth fell open in shock! It was the BIGGEST bath I had EVER seen! I mean this bath was so big, it took up an entire ROOM! And it was so deep that there were even stairs to go down into it! Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that SUCH a big bath existed anywhere in the whole entire world! And to make matters even stranger, there were other people in my bath! I've never shared a bath with anyone other than Mummy before so I wasn't sure what I thought about having a bath with lots of other people, but then I decided that so long as they stayed at one end and I stayed at the other one, then it might be ok.
Mummy was carefully holding me in one arm, and a strange puffy looking chair in the other arm as we walked down the stairs into this bath. I jumped when my legs reached the water - it was COLD! Baths are normally nice and warm but this one wasn't - what was going on? Sharing my bath with other people? Wearing clothes in the bath? And now finding out that this bath was cold? Well. I can tell you that I didn't like it one little bit. I was just finding my voice to have a nice loud shout when Mummy did something that stopped me in my tracks. She was holding me up high and fitting my legs into the strange puffy chair, then she sat me down inside it (it was really quite comfortable) and suddenly I was floating in my bath! I looked down and leaned over the side of my chair, trying to work out why my feet weren't touching the bottom but Mummy laughed and pulled me back upright again. Then she started to push me backwards in my chair!
Well, this was really very very odd and I wasn't sure if I liked it thank you very much. I kept my eyes carefully on Mummy to see what she would do next but she was holding firmly onto my chair so I realized I must be safe enough. I cautiously looked around and then I started to kick a little bit in the water. Hmmm....this has possibilities. After a few minutes, I got brave enough to start smacking the water with my hands. It was all splashy! After a little while, Mummy even took me out of my chair and held me in the water, a man wearing a bright orange stretchy suit threw me some toys and Mummy let me chase them. There was a blue ducky, and a watering can and a brightly coloured ball! I liked the ball best of all because it kept rolling out of my reach so I made sure Mummy kept going after it. I started to shout and splash and kick and smile and lots of people were smiling at me. This big bath was so much FUN!
The one thing that didn't work quite so well was that I kept trying to sit up in the water. I couldn't figure out why this wasn't working because it always works in the bath at home. I would try to sit up and find that my little legs were pushing against water and my little chest and shoulders were working very hard but I couldn't make myself sit up. At one point, I was determinedly reaching for my ball when I reached just a little bit too far and my face went down into the water I took a great big gulp of it and then starting coughing and spluttering - UGH! This water tastes TERRIBLE! Mummy what on earth have they put into it? My eyes were red and my nose was streaming and I was coughing to try to get the taste out of my mouth. Ick! Fortunately the taste went away eventually but I made certain I wasn't going to do that again! Mummy laughed and laid me on my back with her arms underneath and around me. That one was scary because I was sure she was going to drop me but fortunately when she saw I was scared, she scooped me straight up into her arms for a nice cuddle, tight against her chest, and that helped me feel safe again.
I went back to playing with my blue duck and my brightly coloured ball and other people started chatting to Mummy, asking how old I was and telling her how cute I looked (well I could have told her that!) She told them I was eleven months old and they smiled and said how much I was enjoying myself. And I was. I still didn't really know why the bath was quite as big as it was but I definitely knew I liked it. The only problem is that I was just in the middle of pouring the watering can on my head with one hand while whacking Mummy with my blue duck when she looked at the clock and said it was time to go home.
Muuuuummmmmyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't WANT to get out of the big bath! Muuuuummmmmmyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
Needless to say it was a noisy few minutes getting changed back into our real clothes. There was something about the changing room that made my shouting sound quite a lot louder than it normally does - I wonder what that is? After a while, Mummy was digging her fingers into her ears and looking nearly as grumpy as me.
Eventually, we got home and then Mummy did something very odd. She plunked me right into my own bath! I couldn't figure out why she was doing that because I'd just had a long bath and even though this one was warm and had lots of bubbles in it, I really didn't want to be there anymore. It was well past my usual naptime by now and I was very very yaaawwwnnnn tired. Fortunately, Mummy made this bath nice and quick and then she put me into some warm and comfortable pj's and now I'm lying in her bed all comfy and snuggly. I don't think it will be long before I......ssssnnnooooorrrreeeee.........