Monday, 26 March 2012

MY Birthday - and it's all about ME! (Age 1)

Well now, Mummy has asked me for my thoughts on my birthday as I can never pass up the opportunity for a little bit of attention, I will gladly tell you how my day went.

I started plotting on Saturday night because I heard Mummy and Daddy talking about the clocks going forward.  Mummy thought it meant they would get less sleep, but Daddy tried to pull a fast one by saying that actually, we would all get MORE sleep because instead of waking up at around 5am as I usually do, when I woke up and everyone looked at the clocks, they would see 6am and think I'd allowed them to have a lie-in.  (Don't try to understand, it's Daddy logic.)  Well.  Needless to say, THIS wasn't going to happen!  Allow Mummy and Daddy more sleep?  Wake up at 6am? HAH!  As if!

I snuggled down into my bed and started to plot.  Just about the time of the first bird-song, at precisely 4am new time, or as Daddy grumpily pointed out 3am old time, I sat up in my cot and SHOUTED as loudly as I could to notify the staff that My Majesty was now awake and if they knew what was good for them, they would get OUT of bed AT ONCE.

Daddy rolled over and grunted while Mummy stumbled over to my cot to stuff Dumbles back into my mouth in the vain hopes that I might settle back down to sleep.  Mu-th-er puuuhhhllleeeaasse!!! *pppffftttt*  I am AWAKE NOW.  I am NOT going back to sleep.

Well, yesterday Mummy was the one to do 5am milk duty thinking she was doing Daddy a favour by letting him sleep but however hard she tried, he insisted on sitting on the settee because "he was awake now".  On this basis, Mummy was QUITE happy to let him be awake today, so although she stumbled downstairs to make my milk, she quite pointedly notified Daddy that today, changing my pants and administering my milk was HIS job.  Ahhh I do love it when they argue first thing in the morning, particularly when it's about who gets the privilege of looking after MEEEEEEEE.  (Have I mentioned that I was awake?  Loudly awake? Or that it was either 3am or 4am depending on how you look at it?  Aaahhh I do love these lie-ins.)

Well, Daddy took me downstairs and was disgusted to learn that it was even too early for him to watch the news so while I shouted happily and told him all about my night and what a beautiful morning it was, he glumly held my bottle and encouraged me to drink what he described as "sleepy juice".  Naaaahhhh good luck with that one Dad.  I AM AWAKE.  Upstairs, Mummy tells me she was dragging a pillow over her head and trying to drown out my quiet mumbling voice.  Then she shut the bedroom door.  And put the duvet over her head for good measure. None of these helped much.  I find my voice is quite penetrating when I want it to be...and I wanted it to be.

Eventually, I finished my milk, and even finished my singing and when Mummy came downstairs at 7am, Daddy and I were busy catching flies on the settee.  She smiled and left us to it because we looked so comfortable.  I just allowed her to eat a little bit of her grapefruit when I opened my eyes and SHOUTED in Daddy's ear to let him know I was awake again.  GOOD MORNING DADDY!!!!  He *just* about managed to keep hold of me as he jumped a foot off the settee and started to grumble.  Mummy came into the room with a great big smile, gave me a kiss and said, "Happy Birthday Big Boy 1!"  I wasn't sure what that meant, but I like kisses so I gave her a big smile.

Opening my card from Granny Canada

A little while later, Mummy gave me some nice porridge for breakfast but I was watching her and saw she was munching on some toast with brown stuff on it.  Mummy, is it Marmite?  Mummy can I have some toast please?  I like Marmite.  She smiled as Daddy and Big Brother made gagging noises in the background, cut a small piece off and gave it to me saying, "Well tell me what you think of that!"  I sniffed at it.  It's not Marmite Mummy, but it has possibilities.  I nibbled it and made a FACE.  Mummy!  What IS it?  George started to laugh saying, "See, I told you he wouldn't like it!!"  Well just for that, I had to try another bite.  And another.  And another.  Suddenly, it was all gone!  This cannot be!  Mummy, I want more brown stuff!  What did you say it was called?  Bovril?  Mmmmmm yes Mummy, I like Marmite, but now I definitely like Bovril too.  Can I have some on my toast every day please?  Mummy why are you smiling?  Do you like Bovril too?

Well, by this point it was around 8:30am and I can tell you that things were about to go downhill rather spectacularly.  You see, I started to rub my eyes and yawn.  Mummy decided this must mean that I was ready for a morning nap so she cuddled up with me on the sofa and hoped I would go to sleep quite quickly.  Apparently, some people were coming over today but I wasn't sure why, Mummy kept mentioning that Birthday word but I still didn't know what that meant.  I liked cuddles though, so I snuggled into Mummy's arms and I wriggled for a bit.  Then I started to whack Mummy in the face.  Then I started to pinch her.  Then I managed to punch her in the eye, that was fun until she held my arms away and said, "NO" very firmly.  Well.  The one thing I cannot have is Mummy believing she is in charge and has the right to tell me what to do so I HOWLED at her to tell her exactly what I thought of this particular situation and I tried to keep whacking her in the face.  She held my arms away again and had the nerve to say "NO Adam!" Now then, who does she think she is?  I am in charge and I WILL have my own way.  I don't know where Mummy gets my stubbornness from but I can assure you we didn't see eye to eye on this one.

Eventually, Mummy realized I wasn't about to go to sleep voluntarily and as she was still in her nightshirt just an hour before the guests were due to arrive, she decided to take me up to my cot in case I would fall asleep there.  HAH!  Well, I'm sure my loyal readers can work out how that one went.  By 10:30 I was absolutely hysterical because I was SO tired but the staff just weren't fixing it.  They kept stroking my head and encouraging me to lie down and putting the blanket over me but THIS WILL NOT DO!  I am AWAKE!  Of course, after absolutely HOWLING for fifteen minutes, I finally fell asleep precisely five whole minutes before the first of my guests arrived.  I do have impeccable timing.  But of course, as the star of the show knows, being fashionably late to one's own party is the thing to do.  

Eventually, an hour later Daddy came to wake me up and I SHOUTED at him very loudly.  Daddy I am SLEEPING.  Leave me ALONE.  Ahem.  I didn't realize my guests were listening to my behaviour so the charm offensive may have stumbled slightly at this one.  Eventually, Daddy brought me downstairs and when I saw a room full of people all gathered to give me attention, I was slightly mollified.  The only problem is that Mummy kept shoving brightly wrapped parcels under my nose and refused to accept that I wasn't remotely interested in them, all I wanted to do was play the piano that Aunty Kat bought for me for Christmas.  I didn't mind having a little chew on the parcels but I definitely wasn't going to help Mummy open them.  

Eventually we had lunch and I was very very tired so I whined quite a lot but then Nanny gave me the perfect present - it was a little singing mobile phone and I loved it!  I pressed all of the buttons and very quickly worked out how to turn the volume up to maximum which was excellent!  Big Bro was blowing bubbles over me and I was wobbling about on Nanny's knee trying to catch them and of course looking distinctly adorable...but then I always do.

Just then, Mummy came into the room with something very large that was circular in shape and covered in brown stuff.  Mummy, is it a Marmite or Bovril circle?  It had some fire on top of it and Mummy held it sort of in front of me to see what I would do.  

I looked at the brown thing.  

The brown thing looked at me.

That was that.

Everyone sang a pretty little song and then Mummy made the fire go out which was much better.  Mummy started handing slices of the brown stuff around the circle of people and I watched carefully, waiting for my turn.  Eventually, she strapped me into my highchair and sat down beside me with her slice.  

I looked at Mummy.  

Mummy looked at me.  

Quite quickly it became a stare-off.  
My first ever chocolate

(Of course, I won.  Mummy never can resists me.)

Then she very carefully took a small piece of brown stuff and held it to my mouth on her fork.  I opened my mouth expecting Marmite.  Gently she put it on my tongue and OH WOW!!!!!  Instantly I opened my mouth for more - MUMMY I WANT MORE BROWN STUFF AT ONCE!!!!!!!

Mummy laughed and gave me more while Nanny tutted.  Nanny's like to tut I find.

You know, all in all, I still don't really understand what all the fuss is about but this day called a birthday is pretty good.  Particularly when it involves brown stuff.  Can I have another one tomorrow please?

Catching bubbles!

Mrs Godmummy gave me a blowup ballpit!  How COOL is that??

I will only consent to open presents if I am allowed to stay in my ballpit

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