Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Jet lag? I laugh in the face of jet lag!

Well, I heard Mummy talking to Daddy before we left to get on the big metal bird and she was saying she hoped I wouldn't suffer too much from jet lag and also that I wouldn't keep her awake for too many nights while I adjusted.  Now, if there's ever one thing I'm going to pay attention to, it's mention of me causing trouble for Mummy.  As I said in my last post, I never cause trouble, I simply expect the attention that is due me as His Majesty, The Baby.

So of course, the first night after our big adventure in the big metal bird, I thought I would break Mummy in gently, just to make sure she had a nice rest. Because I had a nice long nap on the metal bird, and another shorter rest in the car on the way to Aunty Lynne's, I was quite happy to have a small snack for my tea and then stay awake until just after 6pm.  Mummy was quite amazed that I'd lasted so long and even dared hope I would sleep for a nice long time during the night - I heard her saying so to Aunty Lynne just before I dropped off to sleep.  Well, if theres one thing that's guaranteed to make me want to mess with the staff, it's a wish like that!

So, just to prove what an exceptionally nice baby I am, I allowed myself just one brief Dumbles crisis during the night and other than that, slept through until 5am.  Then, when Mummy sleepily dragged me into her bed, I confirmed just how much I liked being cuddled by agreeing to lay as quietly and silently as a little mouse....albeit just slightly more smelly than a real mouse, but we won't go there.

However, by 6am, I had decided I really had been exceptionally nice to Mummy and that it was now definitely time to get up.  I announced this fact by crawling out of Mummy's arms, inching up onto my knees and elbows and then stuck my bottom in the air.  I wiggled.  Then I wiggled some more.  Then I put my head into the roleypoley position and prepared to flip my smelly little bottom into Mummy's sleepy face.  Unfortunately, she's getting wise to this trick and succeeded in grabbing me just before I commenced my grand manoeuvre.  As she grabbed me, I complained saying, "Mummy! I was busy! Mummy I was doing my morning roleypoley!  It's very important to start the day with a little bit of light exercise and this is my method!  Let me go AT ONCE Mummy!  Mummy, do NOT shush me!  Mummy, if I want to shout then I will shout and I don't care if we are guests in Aunty Lynne's house nor that it is 6am.  I was BUSY!"

Mummy, ever deaf to my protests, dragged me out of roleypoley position but thankfully, she had listened to my point of view and agreed that yes, it was indeed time to get up.  She changed and dressed me and, continuing my plan of buttering up the staff, I giggled and chuckled contentedly and remained oh, so quiet and considerate of others in the house.  Once we were ready, Mummy crept quietly downstairs and offered me some lovely tasty milk which of course, I drank quietly and happily while snuggling on my cushion and enjoying some nice cuddles.  When Cousin Nicki came down just after 7am as she got ready for school, she looked at my contented face and said, "Ahhhh he is just SO cute!" Step One of my plan is working.  Then when Aunty Lynne appeared an hour later and looked at me quietly playing with my toys on the floor, she said Uncle Dwayne had told her, "Wow, that is one quiet kid!" Oh Uncle Dwayne, you have much to learn.

We had a nice, quiet day that first day in Canaydia.  I napped, played, ate a little but not a lot and succeeded in staying awake until 7pm which pleased Mummy greatly.  Just as I fell asleep, I heard her wishing for a repeat of last night and I smiled to myself.  That evening, every hour, on the hour, I shouted for Dumbles ensuring that Mummy spent the whole evening running up and down Aunty Lynne's stairs.  I'm sure she was grateul for the exercise.  As she was also trying to win her own battle against jet lag, she forced herself to stay up until 10pm before tiredly walking up the stairs one last time.  I watched out of one eye as she got ready for bed, crawled under the covers and laid her head on the pillow.

3.......

2.............

1..................

MUMMY! I AM AWAKE AND I REQUIRE DUMBLES AT ONCE!!!!!!!

Mummy tiredly crawled out of bed, stuffed Dumbles into my mouth, stroked my head a few times and then crawled back into bed again.

I allowed her five minutes.

MUMMY!!!! I AM AWAKE AND I REQUIRE DUMBLES AT ONCE!!!

Once again, Mummy crawled out of bed, stuffed Dumbles into my mouth, stroked my head and crawled back into bed again.

Once again, I allowed her five minutes before, 

MUMMY! I AM AWAKE AND I REQUIRE DUMBLES AT ONCE!!!

This really was a fun game, I was quite sure I could keep it up for hours.  But eventually, I decided that for my own sake, a brief snooze would just help me conserve my strength for the next phase.  So I munched on Dumbles and allowed myself to drift into a pleasant doze.  The next I knew it was 1am and I was shocked to realise I had allowed Mummy to sleep for an entire 1.5 hours.  I quickly decided that this really was enough rest for any member of staff and that it was time to ramp up my plan to the next phase.  

This time, just shouting for my Dumbles really wasn't dramatic enough to ensure the staff were well and truly awake.  So I stood up in my cot, leaned as far over the bars as I could and screamed, MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!  I require your attention AT ONCE!!!!!!!!  


MUMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!


This time Mummy groaned and put her pillow over her head as she attempted to ignore me.  Well.  This. Would. Never.  Do.


MUMMY!!! GET UP AT ONCE AND ATTEND TO MY NEEDS!!!!!  RIGHT.  NOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mummy groaned.  Then she moaned.  Then she rolled over and stared through the darkness at my patiently waiting little face peering over the top of my cot.

HELLO MUMMY!  I'M READY TO GET UP NOW.  WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH ME?

Hmm.  Mummy, why are you still lying in bed groaning?  This is wholly unacceptable Mummy.  I don't care if it is 1am.  I require you to get up and wait on me This.  Instant.  MUMMY!

Well, eventually, Mummy agreed to get out of bed and pull me into her bed.  I therefore spent the next three and a half hours entertaining myself by rolling, wiggling, kicking, doing 360 degree rotations in the bed, then just to freak her out, I would quickly roll as close to the edge of the bed as I could while pretending to be asleep.  This of course ensured that Mummy jumped and grabbed for me, thinking I was about to fall out of bed.  The bigger picture was that the panic I created in her ensured she was completely and totally awake.  

By 4:30am, Mummy had completely run out of energy, patience and was entirely willing to rehome me to the highest bidder.  Unfortunately, bidders for noisy babies are few and far between at 4:30am so she decided to plunk me back into my cot, dragged a chair over beside it and propped up her iPad next to it.  Then, she put 'In The Night Garden' on continuous repeat. Ahhhhh.  Success, I do love this show.  If only someone had thought to make popcorn, this would be the perfect setting.  Ah well, I suppose a baby can't have everything.  Mummy? Would you like to watch with me?

Mummy?

Mummy?

Hmmmm.

I believe that lump over there in the bed with, is it two or three pillows over its head?  Yes, I believe that lump is Mummy.  I do believe she's decided she's now off duty.  Ahhh well, I could press the point, but I do love this show.  Alright, I'll let you off Mummy, just this once..

Later that morning, I heard that Uncle Dwayne had changed his opinion of me and apparently described our night together as "brutal".  Now Uncle Dwayne, that really isn't a nice thing to say.  Energetic perhaps.  Long lasting perhaps.  Certainly not brutal though.

Anyway, everyone shush.  I'm watching my favourite show.

I like jet lag, it's really quite fun.  Can we do this again sometime soon Mummy?  I've had a great night.

Mummy?

Oh well, I guess all staff are allowed a little downtime.  Just this once, I'll allow it.

Baby over and out.






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