Friday, 27 September 2013

Chat Magazine

The article has been published in Chat Magazine today. Despite what it says, no I didn't write it, that's just their style. Hopefully it contributes to GBS awareness.

Saturday, 7 September 2013

The Bestest Summer Holiday In The World Ever! (Part 3 of 4)
Day Three of our holiday saw us rolling up in a big parking lot full of cars.  Mummy carried me into a blue building and as I looked around, I saw lots of racks of water wings, rubber duckies, pool noodles and swimsuits.  Well, this looks a bit more promising than a lot of crumbly old bricks did!  I'm still not sure if it's as good as tractors but I'll give it a chance at least.  I lifted my little nose and sniffed the air.  It had that funny smell that burns the inside of my nose.  I would object to the smell in itself, but it smelled rather a lot like my big square bath back at our new house so I held off on protests just for a minute or two until I could work out where we were.

Mummy handed over some of her plastic money and then we went into a strangely echoey room that had water on the floor.  There, I saw lots of people in swimsuits and lots of children with water wings on.  Indeed, this does look promising!  Mummy finished getting all of us ready and then she led me by the hand into a huge room full of people.  Inside, there was a ginormous blue bath which looked interesting, but Mummy wouldn't let me go in that just then.  Instead she led me down to the other end of the room where there was a whole section of sprinkly thingys, drippy thingys, squirty thingys and all sorts of ways to get wet.  Mummy though I might like this part but naaaaahhh.  I'm not a big fan of water on my head, thanks anyway Mum, is there anything else to do?

So then, Mummy started walking me back to the other end of the room.  I wanted to go into the ginormous blue bath but she still wouldn't let me.  By this point, I had decided The Situation Was Quite Unacceptable.  So I dug my little heels into the tiled floor and I let out an ALMIGHTY SCREECH.  Hmm.  For dramatic effect, I'd have to say that ALMIGHTY SCREECHES in huge tiled rooms full of water are quite interesting.  I know Mummy was definitely impressed.  In fact, I'm quite sure all of the other people in the big blue bath were impressed too.

Mummy being the stubborn sort that she is though, kept moving, swept my thrashing, kicking, screeching personage into her arms and Kept. Walking.  

Mother.  The. Situation. Is.  Quite.  Unacceptable.  
Why. Are. You. Not. Listening. To. Me?

Then we got outside and the cold air hit me like a knife.  It probably wasn't that cold but after the heat of the big room, it certainly felt it!  Mummy gritted her teeth and waded into a shallow pool of water and plonked me down on my thrashing little feet.



I like water.

Ok Mummy, that's enough shrieking now.  I've made my point.  What else is there to do?





Mummy, are those slides?  And Mummy, do those slides go INTO the water?  Mummy, do those slides have water trickling down them?  Mummy DO they?  You know how slides are my very favourite thing and water is my other very favourite thing?  Has someone managed to put my two most very favourite things together in ONE place?  Mummy, have they really?

Then, I was off.  I climbed up the stairs to the top of the slide, I carefully looked down it and I sat down in the water (water! on my slide! real water!)  I made sure I was doing toes first cos Mummy always tells me it has to be toes first, then I counted loudly to make sure everyone heard:

"Wo!  Oo!  Ee!!"

And I let go.

Oh, it was the very best thing ever!  I slid down that slide super super fast and at the bottom, there was a HUGE pool of more water and I made the BIGGEST splash ever in the WORLD!  Daddy catched me and I was giggling and smiling so big my smile went from ear to ear.  

Then I did it again.

And again.

And again.

It was absolutely my very best day ever!

Finally, Mummy decided that my skin had gone all bumpy (don't ask me why, I don't know why skin goes bumpy, I don't know where the bumps button is) and she took me out of the water and started heading inside.

Oh.  No.  





I dug in my little heels.  I arched my back.  I thrashed.  I kicked and I screeched.


Then Mummy picked me up and carried me.

You know, I really don't think it's fair that Mummy is so much bigger than me.  If only we were the same size then she would HAVE to listen to my carefully phrased arguments and see that I really do have a point.  

There were slides.  There was water.  WHY do we have to leave??????

Mummy dragged my completely unwilling self back into the big room.  She firmly clamped my thrashing limbs against her body and succeeded in completely immobilising me against her.  

She couldn't stop my mouth though.  I shrieked and I screamed until the echoes of my finely tuned argument were bouncing from one wall to another and other people were covering their ears.  In fact, Mummy's face looked a bit grim by this point too.

But it was her own fault, she should have listened to me in the first place.  I have every right to express my opinions and express them I shall.


So there.

Through my haze of abject misery, I noticed that Mummy was walking down some steps.  Suddenly, I felt some warm water tickling by little bottom and back.  I stopped shrieking, quite abruptly (well I was finished after all) and squirmed around in Mummy's arms to look down.  That's when I realised that Mummy hadn't taken me away from the water, she had just taken me from one bit of water to another and this one was just warmer.

Oh well, that's alright then.  No harm done!

I decided the big bath was pretty cool too.  Having spent so much time in the big-but-smaller-warm-bath at our new house, I was very confident I could manage this bath.  So I climbed up on the edge of the bath and SPLASH I did a belly flop into the water.  Don't worry, I knew Mummy would be there to catch me and she was.  

So I did it again.

And again.

And again.

Finally, the man sitting on his very high chair way way above our big bath even stopped watching me.  I think he realised that Mummy was always there too.  And after all, I AM two whole years old now, so I'm a very big boy really.  I just don't need to be watched the way I did when I was little boy one.

I splashed and I jumped and I shouted and I laughed and I jumped some more and I splashed some more and I practiced my floaty floating and....

Oh.  It was wonderful.

I had the best day ever of my life.  Mummy says it was only two hours really but it was so wonderful, it might as well have been a whole entire day.

It was definitely the bestest part of my whole holiday, it nearly even made up for Mummy wanting to look at all those crumbly bricks before.  It's a shame she couldn't take photos to show you just how much fun I was having, but when I asked her if she would, she told me she wasn't allowed to take photos in there, apparently it's against the rules.  But just because I kept asking and asking and asking, because I really wanted all of you to see how wonderful Brean Splash really is, she visited their website and borrowed some of their photos.  So, all of the photos on this page are from Brean Splash, please do go visit it yourself and you'll see just how wonderful it really is.


Friday, 6 September 2013

The Bestest Summer Holiday in the World EVER!! (Part 2 of 4)

That night, I heard Mummy and Daddy talking.  They said that me and Big Bro had been very good that day really, considering we'd visited somewhere Mummy wanted to see.  Mummy said she thought that tomorrow we should visit somewhere we would enjoy.  Now this is more like it!  I wandered over to where Mummy and Daddy were sitting, they were being careful because the settee in our new house was broken - can you believe that one whole end of it was wobbly and nearly falling off?  I know, the problems with our new house were just stacking up - thorns and pebbles outside, broken settees, I think Mummy and Daddy really should have looked a little more carefully before they bought this house.

But anyway, that's not really my point.  Mummy and Daddy had a huge stack of leaflets on their laps and they were flipping through them, trying to decide where we might like to go.  Naturally, I wanted to be part of the decision so I dove in and helped to scatter them.  I know Mummy was really very appreciative of this because she said, "Thank you baby.  That was really very helpful of you."  Can anyone tell me what sarky is?  Daddy told Mummy she was being sarky but I don't know what that means really.  I thought she was being absolutely genuine and I'm sure she was grateful for my help.

Anyway, I dug through the pile for a while and tried to decide which leaflet was best by the simple method of stuffing them all into my mouth.  I find tasting things really is a good way to decide what's nice and what isn't.  Eventually, Mummy managed to work the leaflets for Wooky Hole Caves, a few more boring old brick places and a caravan park out of my mouth just at the time Daddy found one for somewhere called "Puxton Park".

Park?  I don't know what a Puxton is but I know I like parks.  What sort of park is it Daddy?  Are there slides?  Ballpits?  Not swings though, I hate swings Daddy, those are very scary.  I climbed up onto his lap to get a better look at the pictures of Puxton Park.  Hmmm.....this looks promising!  Slides, ballpits, tractors, ooohh yes please MummyDaddy I'd like to go here tomorrow!  Please can we go to a park in a place called Puxton?

I fell asleep that night dreaming of all the fun we would have the next day.

After breakfast, we packed up the car and set off.  I kept peering out the window trying to see where this new park was but it seemed to take forever and ever and EVER to get there.  Finally, I decided I would just settle down for a little nap to conserve my energy.  I had just started to dream lovely dreams when the car stopped.  Not just yet Mummy, five more minutes....

Then Mummy did the most disgraceful thing!  She plucked me out of my snuggly car seat and put me into my pram!  Well.  This was a MOST unacceptable set of circumstances.  I shouted at my Mummy as loudly as I could.  I arched my back, I kicked and I screeched.  I even threw Dumbles into a handy pond nearby.  I was NOT finished sleeping Mummy!

Unfortunately, Mummy ignored me.  She wheeled my pram inside and Daddy handed over some money before we moved on again.  I was mid-scream...........when I saw it.

Oh my goodness Mummy, is that a TRACTOR?  And is that tractor just the right size for me?  Oh please can I have a go Mummy, please please please please please please please!!!!!

I couldn't quite work out how to use the pedals but that was alright because Daddy was perfectly happy to push me around the track.  I think he quite liked the exercise actually.  Eventually though, I decided Daddy just wasn't pushing me fast enough, he kept trying to stop for a break even though I wasn't ready for a break.  Whenever he stopped, I SHOUTED at him, KEEP PUSHING ME DADDY!  I'm NOT ready to stop!  Thankfully, after quite a few stops and starts, I drafted Big Bro in to help and between the two of them, they managed to push me around the track for quite some time.  It didn't feel like very long to me though because I was having so much fun.

Eventually though, Mummy said it was time to explore something else.  What do you mean Mummy?  Leave my tractor?  Leave my very bestest tractor in the whole wide world?  But Mummy, I was only just getting to know tractor!  Just getting to figure out how it worked!  Mummy, you can't make me leave tractor now!  Mummy no, no No NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Majesty Was Not Amused.

My Majesty Was Not Ready To Leave Tractor.

My Majesty Has A Fine Set Of Lungs.

My Majesty Used Said Lungs To Full Extent.

My Majesty Ensured That Everyone In The Park Was Aware That:


Mummy however remained quite determined.  She was carrying me in that horrible position that, however hard I squirm, kick and punch, I cannot get free from.  She had both arms around me and was forcing me to lie on my side, wrapped around her waist and She. Would. Not. Let. Go.

Just as my little face was turning from bright red to dark purple as I informed the world of my RAGE at leaving tractor behind, I spotted it.

Oh my goodness.

Is this another tractor?

And is this a tractor that doesn't need pedals?

Is this a tractor that goes all on it's very own?


Mummy, quick!  Hurry up!  Put your penny in the slot and make my new tractor go!  Please Mummy, please hurry Mummy, right now, at once, this very little minute Mummy!  Oh look Daddy!  Mummy's taking a picture of us on my tractor, look up and smile!

Daddy, you can have a go on the back of my tractor but only so long as I can drive it!  I'm  a big boy now so I'm very very extra specially good at driving.  Ok Daddy, I guess I probably didn't need to steer it straight into the safety barrier so I might let you help me steer just a little - but not too much Daddy, it's my tractor not yours!

Uh oh.  Daddy, why have we stopped driving?  Why has my tractor stopped?  Daddy did our penny run out or are you too much of a big boy for our tractor?  Do I need to ride my tractor alone?  Oh thank goodness, Big Bro is here to save the day.  Now Bro, PUSH!  Put your back into it Bro, PUSH!  Come on, 1...2....3.....PUSH Bro, PUSH!!!!!

Excellent, I'm so glad Big Bro was there to save the day.  I'm quite certain that if Daddy could have gotten it going again if only he'd wiggled just a little bit more.  Anyway, we went round and round and round for quite some time.  But eventually, I think Mummy was getting a little bit bored.  I offered that she was allowed to spend a little bit of time on one of the tractors but she said no, instead, she had the indignity to tell me it was time to move on and find something else to play with.

Muuuuuummmmyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Noooooooo....................!!

Well, I'm sure you get the idea.

Mummy half dragged and half carried me, kicking and screaming away from my new favourite tractor. I sobbed, screeched and clawed her but she was determined to keep going.  Apparently she had seen something on the map that she was sure I would like so off we went.

I was less convinced.

But then........I saw it.

A great huge, GINORMOUS tractor!  And this tractor, I could climb inside!  And it was very bright red!  And it had a slide on it too!  Oh my GOODNESS Mummy!  Is this whole park absolutely crammed full of tractors?  Oh my goodness Mummy!  This is the very bestest place in the whole wide world!

Mummy!  Mummy!  Mummy!  Look at me!  Look at me!  I'm INSIDE my new tractor!  And guess what Mummy?  I found a slide on the other side!!!!!

Mummy, this is very definitely my new favourite tractor!  I know I said that about the last two tractors, but that was five minutes ago, this is definitely my very favourite tractor, right now, in the whole wide world!!!

I played and I played and I played.....oh it was SO wonderful!  I climbed up onto my tractor, I climbed through my tractor and I slid down the slide on the other side of my tractor.  I did it over and over again forever and ever and ever until it was lunchtime.

Then I only screeched just a little bit while Mummy and Daddy found somewhere to sit down so they could fill my hungry belly.  They thought it was quite nice that they chose to sit in the arena where all the Very Big Birds Just Like In Harry Potter were flying but I was less impressed.  I just wanted my lunch.  Mummy, if you want to watch the very big huge birds fly about then I suppose I will let you, but only on the condition that you let keep on filling my little belly with lots and lots of food, right this very minute.  Mummy thought it was a bit of a downside when I started throwing my pieces of apple at the Very Big Bird With The Large Hooked Beak but I really couldn't see what the problem was.  As far as I was concerned, I was finished my lunch now and I was sharing it with the very big bird.  The man on the other end of the very big bird's leash was a little bit less impressed though and he gave Mummy

The Look.

I thought only Mummy was able to do The Look but I guess I was wrong.  The Big Bird Man can do quite a good Look.....

After lunch, Mummy insisted on sitting down for a little while but FINALLY after about forever, she took me to this great big hug enormous puffy thingy.  She let me climb up onto it so I could see what it was all about.

Well.  I ran...and I fell over:

But then I got up and I ran about some more and then another little boy came to play with me too:

It was a really good puffy thingy and I shrieked and I giggled and I had lots and lots of fun.  I tried to keep my balance but then I decided that it was much more fun to just fall down and roll around.  I think that was the best part about the big puffy thingy.  It was big and squishy and falley downey and it was fabulous.

Eventually though, I started to get just a little bit tired so I didn't complain too much when Mummy helped me off the puffy thingy and we wandered inside to see what else there might be to play with.

Oh it was wonderful!  Mummy found a ball pit and it had a big machine in it that blew out air and as the balls flew up into the air, I tried to catch as many of them as I could!  It made my hair all stand up and look funny but I didn't mind, I was having so much fun.

I played and I played and I played and in the end, I decided it was the very bestest day ever of my holiday so far.  Well, it wouldn't be hard to beat yesterday's crumbly old bricks day but still, it really was a wonderful place.

I asked Mummy to make sure she took me back there again and again and again.  I'm sure she listened to me and we'll go back to visit very soon.  If anyone of my friends are in Suuuhhh-mer-set, you must go and visit Puxton Park.  It really is a very most fabulous place!