But anyway, that's not really my point. Mummy and Daddy had a huge stack of leaflets on their laps and they were flipping through them, trying to decide where we might like to go. Naturally, I wanted to be part of the decision so I dove in and helped to scatter them. I know Mummy was really very appreciative of this because she said, "Thank you baby. That was really very helpful of you." Can anyone tell me what sarky is? Daddy told Mummy she was being sarky but I don't know what that means really. I thought she was being absolutely genuine and I'm sure she was grateful for my help.
Anyway, I dug through the pile for a while and tried to decide which leaflet was best by the simple method of stuffing them all into my mouth. I find tasting things really is a good way to decide what's nice and what isn't. Eventually, Mummy managed to work the leaflets for Wooky Hole Caves, a few more boring old brick places and a caravan park out of my mouth just at the time Daddy found one for somewhere called "Puxton Park".
Park? I don't know what a Puxton is but I know I like parks. What sort of park is it Daddy? Are there slides? Ballpits? Not swings though, I hate swings Daddy, those are very scary. I climbed up onto his lap to get a better look at the pictures of Puxton Park. Hmmm.....this looks promising! Slides, ballpits, tractors, ooohh yes please MummyDaddy I'd like to go here tomorrow! Please can we go to a park in a place called Puxton?
I fell asleep that night dreaming of all the fun we would have the next day.
After breakfast, we packed up the car and set off. I kept peering out the window trying to see where this new park was but it seemed to take forever and ever and EVER to get there. Finally, I decided I would just settle down for a little nap to conserve my energy. I had just started to dream lovely dreams when the car stopped. Not just yet Mummy, five more minutes....
Then Mummy did the most disgraceful thing! She plucked me out of my snuggly car seat and put me into my pram! Well. This was a MOST unacceptable set of circumstances. I shouted at my Mummy as loudly as I could. I arched my back, I kicked and I screeched. I even threw Dumbles into a handy pond nearby. I was NOT finished sleeping Mummy!
Unfortunately, Mummy ignored me. She wheeled my pram inside and Daddy handed over some money before we moved on again. I was mid-scream...........when I saw it.
Oh my goodness Mummy, is that a TRACTOR? And is that tractor just the right size for me? Oh please can I have a go Mummy, please please please please please please please!!!!!
I couldn't quite work out how to use the pedals but that was alright because Daddy was perfectly happy to push me around the track. I think he quite liked the exercise actually. Eventually though, I decided Daddy just wasn't pushing me fast enough, he kept trying to stop for a break even though I wasn't ready for a break. Whenever he stopped, I SHOUTED at him, KEEP PUSHING ME DADDY! I'm NOT ready to stop! Thankfully, after quite a few stops and starts, I drafted Big Bro in to help and between the two of them, they managed to push me around the track for quite some time. It didn't feel like very long to me though because I was having so much fun.
My Majesty Was Not Amused.
My Majesty Was Not Ready To Leave Tractor.
My Majesty Has A Fine Set Of Lungs.
My Majesty Used Said Lungs To Full Extent.
My Majesty Ensured That Everyone In The Park Was Aware That:
MY MAJESTY WAS NOT AMUSED.
Mummy however remained quite determined. She was carrying me in that horrible position that, however hard I squirm, kick and punch, I cannot get free from. She had both arms around me and was forcing me to lie on my side, wrapped around her waist and She. Would. Not. Let. Go.
Just as my little face was turning from bright red to dark purple as I informed the world of my RAGE at leaving tractor behind, I spotted it.
Oh my goodness.
Is this another tractor?
And is this a tractor that doesn't need pedals?
Is this a tractor that goes all on it's very own?
Mummy, quick! Hurry up! Put your penny in the slot and make my new tractor go! Please Mummy, please hurry Mummy, right now, at once, this very little minute Mummy! Oh look Daddy! Mummy's taking a picture of us on my tractor, look up and smile!
Daddy, you can have a go on the back of my tractor but only so long as I can drive it! I'm a big boy now so I'm very very extra specially good at driving. Ok Daddy, I guess I probably didn't need to steer it straight into the safety barrier so I might let you help me steer just a little - but not too much Daddy, it's my tractor not yours!
Uh oh. Daddy, why have we stopped driving? Why has my tractor stopped? Daddy did our penny run out or are you too much of a big boy for our tractor? Do I need to ride my tractor alone? Oh thank goodness, Big Bro is here to save the day. Now Bro, PUSH! Put your back into it Bro, PUSH! Come on, 1...2....3.....PUSH Bro, PUSH!!!!!
Excellent, I'm so glad Big Bro was there to save the day. I'm quite certain that if Daddy could have gotten it going again if only he'd wiggled just a little bit more. Anyway, we went round and round and round for quite some time. But eventually, I think Mummy was getting a little bit bored. I offered that she was allowed to spend a little bit of time on one of the tractors but she said no, instead, she had the indignity to tell me it was time to move on and find something else to play with.
Well, I'm sure you get the idea.
Mummy half dragged and half carried me, kicking and screaming away from my new favourite tractor. I sobbed, screeched and clawed her but she was determined to keep going. Apparently she had seen something on the map that she was sure I would like so off we went.
I was less convinced.
But then........I saw it.
A great huge, GINORMOUS tractor! And this tractor, I could climb inside! And it was very bright red! And it had a slide on it too! Oh my GOODNESS Mummy! Is this whole park absolutely crammed full of tractors? Oh my goodness Mummy! This is the very bestest place in the whole wide world!
Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Look at me! Look at me! I'm INSIDE my new tractor! And guess what Mummy? I found a slide on the other side!!!!!
Mummy, this is very definitely my new favourite tractor! I know I said that about the last two tractors, but that was five minutes ago, this is definitely my very favourite tractor, right now, in the whole wide world!!!
I played and I played and I played.....oh it was SO wonderful! I climbed up onto my tractor, I climbed through my tractor and I slid down the slide on the other side of my tractor. I did it over and over again forever and ever and ever until it was lunchtime.
Then I only screeched just a little bit while Mummy and Daddy found somewhere to sit down so they could fill my hungry belly. They thought it was quite nice that they chose to sit in the arena where all the Very Big Birds Just Like In Harry Potter were flying but I was less impressed. I just wanted my lunch. Mummy, if you want to watch the very big huge birds fly about then I suppose I will let you, but only on the condition that you let keep on filling my little belly with lots and lots of food, right this very minute. Mummy thought it was a bit of a downside when I started throwing my pieces of apple at the Very Big Bird With The Large Hooked Beak but I really couldn't see what the problem was. As far as I was concerned, I was finished my lunch now and I was sharing it with the very big bird. The man on the other end of the very big bird's leash was a little bit less impressed though and he gave Mummy
I thought only Mummy was able to do The Look but I guess I was wrong. The Big Bird Man can do quite a good Look.....
After lunch, Mummy insisted on sitting down for a little while but FINALLY after about forever, she took me to this great big hug enormous puffy thingy. She let me climb up onto it so I could see what it was all about.
Well. I ran...and I fell over:
But then I got up and I ran about some more and then another little boy came to play with me too:
It was a really good puffy thingy and I shrieked and I giggled and I had lots and lots of fun. I tried to keep my balance but then I decided that it was much more fun to just fall down and roll around. I think that was the best part about the big puffy thingy. It was big and squishy and falley downey and it was fabulous.
Eventually though, I started to get just a little bit tired so I didn't complain too much when Mummy helped me off the puffy thingy and we wandered inside to see what else there might be to play with.
Oh it was wonderful! Mummy found a ball pit and it had a big machine in it that blew out air and as the balls flew up into the air, I tried to catch as many of them as I could! It made my hair all stand up and look funny but I didn't mind, I was having so much fun.
I asked Mummy to make sure she took me back there again and again and again. I'm sure she listened to me and we'll go back to visit very soon. If anyone of my friends are in Suuuhhh-mer-set, you must go and visit Puxton Park. It really is a very most fabulous place!