Day Three of our holiday saw us rolling up in a big parking lot full of cars. Mummy carried me into a blue building and as I looked around, I saw lots of racks of water wings, rubber duckies, pool noodles and swimsuits. Well, this looks a bit more promising than a lot of crumbly old bricks did! I'm still not sure if it's as good as tractors but I'll give it a chance at least. I lifted my little nose and sniffed the air. It had that funny smell that burns the inside of my nose. I would object to the smell in itself, but it smelled rather a lot like my big square bath back at our new house so I held off on protests just for a minute or two until I could work out where we were.
Mummy handed over some of her plastic money and then we went into a strangely echoey room that had water on the floor. There, I saw lots of people in swimsuits and lots of children with water wings on. Indeed, this does look promising! Mummy finished getting all of us ready and then she led me by the hand into a huge room full of people. Inside, there was a ginormous blue bath which looked interesting, but Mummy wouldn't let me go in that just then. Instead she led me down to the other end of the room where there was a whole section of sprinkly thingys, drippy thingys, squirty thingys and all sorts of ways to get wet. Mummy though I might like this part but naaaaahhh. I'm not a big fan of water on my head, thanks anyway Mum, is there anything else to do?
So then, Mummy started walking me back to the other end of the room. I wanted to go into the ginormous blue bath but she still wouldn't let me. By this point, I had decided The Situation Was Quite Unacceptable. So I dug my little heels into the tiled floor and I let out an ALMIGHTY SCREECH. Hmm. For dramatic effect, I'd have to say that ALMIGHTY SCREECHES in huge tiled rooms full of water are quite interesting. I know Mummy was definitely impressed. In fact, I'm quite sure all of the other people in the big blue bath were impressed too.
Mummy being the stubborn sort that she is though, kept moving, swept my thrashing, kicking, screeching personage into her arms and Kept. Walking.
Mother. The. Situation. Is. Quite. Unacceptable.
Why. Are. You. Not. Listening. To. Me?
Then we got outside and the cold air hit me like a knife. It probably wasn't that cold but after the heat of the big room, it certainly felt it! Mummy gritted her teeth and waded into a shallow pool of water and plonked me down on my thrashing little feet.
I like water.
Ok Mummy, that's enough shrieking now. I've made my point. What else is there to do?
Mummy, are those slides? And Mummy, do those slides go INTO the water? Mummy, do those slides have water trickling down them? Mummy DO they? You know how slides are my very favourite thing and water is my other very favourite thing? Has someone managed to put my two most very favourite things together in ONE place? Mummy, have they really?
Then, I was off. I climbed up the stairs to the top of the slide, I carefully looked down it and I sat down in the water (water! on my slide! real water!) I made sure I was doing toes first cos Mummy always tells me it has to be toes first, then I counted loudly to make sure everyone heard:
"Wo! Oo! Ee!!"
And I let go.
Oh, it was the very best thing ever! I slid down that slide super super fast and at the bottom, there was a HUGE pool of more water and I made the BIGGEST splash ever in the WORLD! Daddy catched me and I was giggling and smiling so big my smile went from ear to ear.
Then I did it again.
It was absolutely my very best day ever!
Finally, Mummy decided that my skin had gone all bumpy (don't ask me why, I don't know why skin goes bumpy, I don't know where the bumps button is) and she took me out of the water and started heading inside.
I dug in my little heels. I arched my back. I thrashed. I kicked and I screeched.
Then Mummy picked me up and carried me.
You know, I really don't think it's fair that Mummy is so much bigger than me. If only we were the same size then she would HAVE to listen to my carefully phrased arguments and see that I really do have a point.
There were slides. There was water. WHY do we have to leave??????
Mummy dragged my completely unwilling self back into the big room. She firmly clamped my thrashing limbs against her body and succeeded in completely immobilising me against her.
She couldn't stop my mouth though. I shrieked and I screamed until the echoes of my finely tuned argument were bouncing from one wall to another and other people were covering their ears. In fact, Mummy's face looked a bit grim by this point too.
But it was her own fault, she should have listened to me in the first place. I have every right to express my opinions and express them I shall.
Through my haze of abject misery, I noticed that Mummy was walking down some steps. Suddenly, I felt some warm water tickling by little bottom and back. I stopped shrieking, quite abruptly (well I was finished after all) and squirmed around in Mummy's arms to look down. That's when I realised that Mummy hadn't taken me away from the water, she had just taken me from one bit of water to another and this one was just warmer.
Oh well, that's alright then. No harm done!
I decided the big bath was pretty cool too. Having spent so much time in the big-but-smaller-warm-bath at our new house, I was very confident I could manage this bath. So I climbed up on the edge of the bath and SPLASH I did a belly flop into the water. Don't worry, I knew Mummy would be there to catch me and she was.
So I did it again.
Finally, the man sitting on his very high chair way way above our big bath even stopped watching me. I think he realised that Mummy was always there too. And after all, I AM two whole years old now, so I'm a very big boy really. I just don't need to be watched the way I did when I was little boy one.
I splashed and I jumped and I shouted and I laughed and I jumped some more and I splashed some more and I practiced my floaty floating and....
Oh. It was wonderful.
I had the best day ever of my life. Mummy says it was only two hours really but it was so wonderful, it might as well have been a whole entire day.
It was definitely the bestest part of my whole holiday, it nearly even made up for Mummy wanting to look at all those crumbly bricks before. It's a shame she couldn't take photos to show you just how much fun I was having, but when I asked her if she would, she told me she wasn't allowed to take photos in there, apparently it's against the rules. But just because I kept asking and asking and asking, because I really wanted all of you to see how wonderful Brean Splash really is, she visited their website and borrowed some of their photos. So, all of the photos on this page are from Brean Splash, please do go visit it yourself and you'll see just how wonderful it really is.