So, I hatched a plot which basically involved Training the Staff. You see, Mummy and Daddy must know their place in life and clearly that place is instantly responding to my every need, desire and whim the moment I express it, or ideally a few seconds before. This is of course the ideal I am working towards but as Mummy has clearly inherited my stubbornness, the training program is taking longer than I had anticipated.
For this reason, I felt it might be helpful to periodically update my readers with Staff Reports just to let everyone know how work is progressing. I initially decided to give The Staff a six-month probation period which was then extended to one year. So far, I've managed to knock some of the rough edges off them but there's still quite a bit of work to go. I am however a gracious and patient baby and so am willing to continue to work with The Staff, mostly because it would take far too long to break in a new staff team so it seems better to persist with the ones I've already hired.
If however there are any applicants interested in applying for the post, I will gladly take these under consideration. I would however suggest these applicants first review the Staff Reports I have already posted here just so they have a general idea of what my expectations are. This might be helpful if I decide to progress their application to an interview. The pay isn't very good and the sleep is minimal but I really am quite charming when I want to be so this more than makes up for it. All CV's can be forwarded to The Baby; you will be placed in a queue but I value your call and one of my customer service agents will answer as quickly as possible.
Thanks for teaching me my new trick Daddy,
this is a good one!